Moving Right Along

So, two weeks ago I sent my medical records to Rotunda and heard back last week. Dr. Guatam emailed us a list of tests for screening on our end. Some are for me, some are for Bob and some are for both of us.

Here's what they asked for:
Baseline Profile (To be done on Day 2/3 of your menses)
·Serum FSH
·Serum LH
·Serum TSH
·Serum Prolactin
·Routine Semen Analysis
·Semen Culture ABST
·Antisperm Antibodies
·Test for HbsAg
·HIV (1+2) Antibody
·Blood Grouping & Rh typing

We have had these tests so many times that it is frustrating to have to repeat them, but at least there aren't any surprises.

Dr. Guatam said they are in the process of screening surrogates on their end, and will present us with profiles when the testing is complete.

I made an appointment to see our RE in NJ for a consultation tomorrow. I had two previous rounds of IVF with this doctor and know that he is willing to help with this process. We need to discuss many issues during the consultation. We are trying to decide what will make more sense, starting stimming here in the U.S. and going to India after the trigger shot for retrieval and transfer, thereby limiting our time in India, or doing the whole process over there, which could take two weeks. Cost is a factor. Time off from work is a factor.

I see my therapist, Marni Rosner, every week. I started seeing her with my fifth negative cycle, when it was so hard to accept that my body wouldn't perform. There are so many feelings of loss and shame tied to infertility that it was a real struggle to get through, and is a struggle to this day. This journey has been hard on my marriage, my family and my friends. I am so grateful for the people in my life who have been so understanding and supportive; sometimes I think it is harder for them than for me.

I guess I am writing all of this so that I can also blog about the emotional struggles that come with surrogacy. I found Marni through the Resolve website and she specializes in patients dealing with infertility. She has been wonderful in keeping my spirit healthy when it comes to dealing with this trauma. So I have great help!

I read these surrogacy message boards where the women have these great relationships with their gestational carriers and I can't help but to feel grateful that I won't have to be a part of the day to day in my GCs pregnancy. I know some people would feel completely different and would want to be a part of the step-by-step process. Not me. I want to meet her. I want to know that she is safe, well cared for, that her health is not risked by the pregnancy. I want her to know that 'grateful' doesn't begin to cover how Bob and I feel about her doing this for us. I get choked up at the thought of looking this person in the eyes and trying to express what her sacrifice means to us.

I understand that this surrogacy will not be completely anonymous. I think we meet her before and at transfer and after delivery. How do you thank someone for changing your life and giving you a gift like this?

I want to add this really fantastic website that I read a lot. I find the FAQ section like a security blanket that I reread when I start to get overwhelmed by this process. It's reassuring somehow.

www.oneinsix.com