A lot has happened since my last post.
We decided to go with SurrogacyIndia and have sent our deposit and worked out our timeline with the doctors there. We booked our airfare last week and made hotel arrangements. We started communications with our reproductive endocrinologist here in NJ so that we can start the monitoring of our cycle here in the US and go to Mumbai for a shorter amount of time. We have opted out of staying for transfer and will be in Mumbai for six days. Six days! Last trip we were there for two and half weeks!
SurrogacyIndia has been extremely flexible, understanding and communicative. So far, we are impressed with the services. We will meet our surrogate this time; that's going to be really different!
We are due to leave for India on June 27th. It's the monsoon season in India now, so it should be a different city this time around!
It has been difficult for Bob and I to get excited about this trip...well, about this cycle. We are tired of the emotional roller coaster of all these infertility treatments. We find ourselves talking more and more about what life without children would be like. What would we do differently? Where and how would we choose to live?
I think this might be the end of the road for us. We've been very lucky to have the support of friends and family. We've been really blessed that we've had the opportunity to have closure with so many different assisted reproductive treatments. I consider myself so lucky that I will never have to say to myself, "I wish we'd tried this or that."
I hope and pray that we have the opportunity to have a family of three, but I think we are beginning to see that life wouldn't be so bad as a family of two...
Monday, May 26, 2008
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Coming Back Up for Air
Okay, that negative was hard, as they always are.
We took it on the chin, though. We hugged, we cried, we talked...
We took a realistic look at this together; what did we learn?
Well, we learned that we didn't love Rotunda. Honestly, they were overwhelmed there. It felt as if they were unable to give us their full attention. After six rounds of IVF, we know the ropes. We know what the ultrasounds and numbers mean. We know what a good cycle and what a bad cycle looks like. We did not have a good cycle.
We also learned that the system works. Surrogacy in India works. Our doctors could have sent us that email with a positive pregnancy result; they could have collected our money and "miscarried" that pregnancy later. That didn't happen. The system is real and it does work.
So we are going to take our experience with the programs in India and seriously consider trying it one more time. We are looking into two different programs. One is Jaslok Hospital and the other is SurrogacyIndia. They both offer great labs and fabulous embryologists. Honestly, we are leaning towards SurrogacyIndia.
We learned that we should use our knowledge in India, just as we would here in the US. I took a very passive roll in this cycle and I will be more vocal in the next round. You see, with our very first round of IVF, we did not see great fertilization results and our embryos were not of a great quality. Every subsequent cycle was tweaked and improved our fertilization and embryo quality. Our last two rounds were with Cornell, one of the best clinics in the country. We feel that Rotunda did not look at those past cycles and try to mirror some of those improvements. Instead, they gave us a very standard dosage and therefore produced results like that of our very first round of IVF. We were disappointed and angry at ourselves for not saying something when we first saw the dosages they were prescribing.
Shoulda, woulda, coulda. I believe that you take what life hands you, learn from it, and try to do better. I think we learned that this could work, and could be done better. So, we may decide to do this again or we may decide to take another path. Right now we are considering getting back up on this horse.
We took it on the chin, though. We hugged, we cried, we talked...
We took a realistic look at this together; what did we learn?
Well, we learned that we didn't love Rotunda. Honestly, they were overwhelmed there. It felt as if they were unable to give us their full attention. After six rounds of IVF, we know the ropes. We know what the ultrasounds and numbers mean. We know what a good cycle and what a bad cycle looks like. We did not have a good cycle.
We also learned that the system works. Surrogacy in India works. Our doctors could have sent us that email with a positive pregnancy result; they could have collected our money and "miscarried" that pregnancy later. That didn't happen. The system is real and it does work.
So we are going to take our experience with the programs in India and seriously consider trying it one more time. We are looking into two different programs. One is Jaslok Hospital and the other is SurrogacyIndia. They both offer great labs and fabulous embryologists. Honestly, we are leaning towards SurrogacyIndia.
We learned that we should use our knowledge in India, just as we would here in the US. I took a very passive roll in this cycle and I will be more vocal in the next round. You see, with our very first round of IVF, we did not see great fertilization results and our embryos were not of a great quality. Every subsequent cycle was tweaked and improved our fertilization and embryo quality. Our last two rounds were with Cornell, one of the best clinics in the country. We feel that Rotunda did not look at those past cycles and try to mirror some of those improvements. Instead, they gave us a very standard dosage and therefore produced results like that of our very first round of IVF. We were disappointed and angry at ourselves for not saying something when we first saw the dosages they were prescribing.
Shoulda, woulda, coulda. I believe that you take what life hands you, learn from it, and try to do better. I think we learned that this could work, and could be done better. So, we may decide to do this again or we may decide to take another path. Right now we are considering getting back up on this horse.
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