Well, it's been a while since I posted. Things at work and in our personal lives have been a little hectic.
I consult for a company that is laying off the department in which I work. I have been consulting with them for about two and half years because it allowed me to take the time off that I needed for all of my IVF treatments. I was supposed to have a job through the end of June, but they decided to make final cuts the end of March instead. The beauty of it is that they are going to pay me through June. This allows me to take as much time as I need in India with no pressure to get back. Bob works from home for a UK company that has offices India, so he has a lot of flexability as well. He can work with a laptop or go into the office there if he needs to. It feels a bit like the stars are in alignment to make this trip totally stress free.
We completed all of our testing a week and a half ago. I have been instructed to begin birth control pills with the onset of my next period in order to coordinate my cycle with a surrogate. My next period should begin sometime around March 10th. I believe that we should recieve information of surrogates in the couple of weeks. If our cycles are able to be synched quickly, we may be able to do our cycle in April. If not, we are looking at May.
We are so excited! I guess I need to start working on making appointments for shots and travel visas...
Friday, February 22, 2008
Monday, February 4, 2008
Doctor, Meet Doctor
Well, I just sent an email to my doctor in India and my doctor in the U.S. so that they can coordinate all tests, results from tests and monitoring.
Bob and I sat down with Dr. Morgan, an RE with whom we had gone through two cycles of IVF. We had prepared ourselves for negative attitude when it came to our choice for surrogacy, but were pleasantly surprised at how supportive and open Dr. Morgan was to our decision. He was very up front about how the process would work. He explained that our doctors in Mumbai will be our 'primary' doctors and Dr. Morgan will act on their requests. This concerns us a bit because communication between us and India has not had a quick turn around. Ultimately, you have to remember that you are dealing with a country with poor infrastructure and communications can be delayed and have breakdowns at any point. The idea of relying on daily requests from India in order to conduct monitoring is concerning.
Then we met with Dr. Morgan's billing person. She explained that each monitoring session during the stimulation portion of our cycle would cost between roughly $540-$750, depending on how much blood work is requested.
When Bob and I did the math and added in the communication concerns, we realized quickly that it definitely made more sense to conduct the whole cycle in India.
So, we have decided that we will remain in the US until we begin the stimulation portion of the IVF cycle. We will do our preliminary testing with Dr. Morgan and have our baseline ultrasound here.
I have begun to look at travel arrangements. Delta now offers a flight from JFK in New York directly to Mumbai. The flight is fifteen hours. (When I think about possibly making that flight home with an infant, I get this feeling that's a mixture of hope and panic! It makes my heart got all fluttery!)
It's likely that we will stay at the Hilton because we have a ton of reward points with them. We are looking at a hotel called the Ascot as a second choice.
I think we will look at executive suites or short term apartment rentals while we are in India for the IVF cycle, so that if we come back for a baby, we will have options for a place to stay with a kitchen and a separate bedroom. We could end up being there for as long as a month with an infant, so every little bit of advance planning will help.
Bob and I sat down with Dr. Morgan, an RE with whom we had gone through two cycles of IVF. We had prepared ourselves for negative attitude when it came to our choice for surrogacy, but were pleasantly surprised at how supportive and open Dr. Morgan was to our decision. He was very up front about how the process would work. He explained that our doctors in Mumbai will be our 'primary' doctors and Dr. Morgan will act on their requests. This concerns us a bit because communication between us and India has not had a quick turn around. Ultimately, you have to remember that you are dealing with a country with poor infrastructure and communications can be delayed and have breakdowns at any point. The idea of relying on daily requests from India in order to conduct monitoring is concerning.
Then we met with Dr. Morgan's billing person. She explained that each monitoring session during the stimulation portion of our cycle would cost between roughly $540-$750, depending on how much blood work is requested.
When Bob and I did the math and added in the communication concerns, we realized quickly that it definitely made more sense to conduct the whole cycle in India.
So, we have decided that we will remain in the US until we begin the stimulation portion of the IVF cycle. We will do our preliminary testing with Dr. Morgan and have our baseline ultrasound here.
I have begun to look at travel arrangements. Delta now offers a flight from JFK in New York directly to Mumbai. The flight is fifteen hours. (When I think about possibly making that flight home with an infant, I get this feeling that's a mixture of hope and panic! It makes my heart got all fluttery!)
It's likely that we will stay at the Hilton because we have a ton of reward points with them. We are looking at a hotel called the Ascot as a second choice.
I think we will look at executive suites or short term apartment rentals while we are in India for the IVF cycle, so that if we come back for a baby, we will have options for a place to stay with a kitchen and a separate bedroom. We could end up being there for as long as a month with an infant, so every little bit of advance planning will help.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Moving Right Along
So, two weeks ago I sent my medical records to Rotunda and heard back last week. Dr. Guatam emailed us a list of tests for screening on our end. Some are for me, some are for Bob and some are for both of us.
Here's what they asked for:
Baseline Profile (To be done on Day 2/3 of your menses)
·Serum FSH
·Serum LH
·Serum TSH
·Serum Prolactin
·Routine Semen Analysis
·Semen Culture ABST
·Antisperm Antibodies
·Test for HbsAg
·HIV (1+2) Antibody
·Blood Grouping & Rh typing
We have had these tests so many times that it is frustrating to have to repeat them, but at least there aren't any surprises.
Dr. Guatam said they are in the process of screening surrogates on their end, and will present us with profiles when the testing is complete.
I made an appointment to see our RE in NJ for a consultation tomorrow. I had two previous rounds of IVF with this doctor and know that he is willing to help with this process. We need to discuss many issues during the consultation. We are trying to decide what will make more sense, starting stimming here in the U.S. and going to India after the trigger shot for retrieval and transfer, thereby limiting our time in India, or doing the whole process over there, which could take two weeks. Cost is a factor. Time off from work is a factor.
I see my therapist, Marni Rosner, every week. I started seeing her with my fifth negative cycle, when it was so hard to accept that my body wouldn't perform. There are so many feelings of loss and shame tied to infertility that it was a real struggle to get through, and is a struggle to this day. This journey has been hard on my marriage, my family and my friends. I am so grateful for the people in my life who have been so understanding and supportive; sometimes I think it is harder for them than for me.
I guess I am writing all of this so that I can also blog about the emotional struggles that come with surrogacy. I found Marni through the Resolve website and she specializes in patients dealing with infertility. She has been wonderful in keeping my spirit healthy when it comes to dealing with this trauma. So I have great help!
I read these surrogacy message boards where the women have these great relationships with their gestational carriers and I can't help but to feel grateful that I won't have to be a part of the day to day in my GCs pregnancy. I know some people would feel completely different and would want to be a part of the step-by-step process. Not me. I want to meet her. I want to know that she is safe, well cared for, that her health is not risked by the pregnancy. I want her to know that 'grateful' doesn't begin to cover how Bob and I feel about her doing this for us. I get choked up at the thought of looking this person in the eyes and trying to express what her sacrifice means to us.
I understand that this surrogacy will not be completely anonymous. I think we meet her before and at transfer and after delivery. How do you thank someone for changing your life and giving you a gift like this?
I want to add this really fantastic website that I read a lot. I find the FAQ section like a security blanket that I reread when I start to get overwhelmed by this process. It's reassuring somehow.
www.oneinsix.com
Here's what they asked for:
Baseline Profile (To be done on Day 2/3 of your menses)
·Serum FSH
·Serum LH
·Serum TSH
·Serum Prolactin
·Routine Semen Analysis
·Semen Culture ABST
·Antisperm Antibodies
·Test for HbsAg
·HIV (1+2) Antibody
·Blood Grouping & Rh typing
We have had these tests so many times that it is frustrating to have to repeat them, but at least there aren't any surprises.
Dr. Guatam said they are in the process of screening surrogates on their end, and will present us with profiles when the testing is complete.
I made an appointment to see our RE in NJ for a consultation tomorrow. I had two previous rounds of IVF with this doctor and know that he is willing to help with this process. We need to discuss many issues during the consultation. We are trying to decide what will make more sense, starting stimming here in the U.S. and going to India after the trigger shot for retrieval and transfer, thereby limiting our time in India, or doing the whole process over there, which could take two weeks. Cost is a factor. Time off from work is a factor.
I see my therapist, Marni Rosner, every week. I started seeing her with my fifth negative cycle, when it was so hard to accept that my body wouldn't perform. There are so many feelings of loss and shame tied to infertility that it was a real struggle to get through, and is a struggle to this day. This journey has been hard on my marriage, my family and my friends. I am so grateful for the people in my life who have been so understanding and supportive; sometimes I think it is harder for them than for me.
I guess I am writing all of this so that I can also blog about the emotional struggles that come with surrogacy. I found Marni through the Resolve website and she specializes in patients dealing with infertility. She has been wonderful in keeping my spirit healthy when it comes to dealing with this trauma. So I have great help!
I read these surrogacy message boards where the women have these great relationships with their gestational carriers and I can't help but to feel grateful that I won't have to be a part of the day to day in my GCs pregnancy. I know some people would feel completely different and would want to be a part of the step-by-step process. Not me. I want to meet her. I want to know that she is safe, well cared for, that her health is not risked by the pregnancy. I want her to know that 'grateful' doesn't begin to cover how Bob and I feel about her doing this for us. I get choked up at the thought of looking this person in the eyes and trying to express what her sacrifice means to us.
I understand that this surrogacy will not be completely anonymous. I think we meet her before and at transfer and after delivery. How do you thank someone for changing your life and giving you a gift like this?
I want to add this really fantastic website that I read a lot. I find the FAQ section like a security blanket that I reread when I start to get overwhelmed by this process. It's reassuring somehow.
www.oneinsix.com
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Vaccinations are SCARY!
I have had a terrible cold for about three weeks, which finally brought me to the doctor today. It turns out I have brochitis and am spending the day on the couch with my laptop and my new puppy, Maisy. She's a mintiature schauzer/poodle mix, a "schnoodle," that we got the day after Thanksgiving. Bob and I are in love with her; she's really filled a hole in our lives.
Anyhoo, lets get to the reason for this post. While I was at the doctor today, I asked about vaccinations for India. Dr. Sahar explained that every area requires different vaccinations and I need to consult the US Department of Health to determine what is required for our specific destination of Mumbai. He said that his practice could handle some of the vaccinations if we gave him notice, but Yellow Fever is only adminstered by specified clinics. (We will need the Yellow Fever vaccination.)
After reading what the Deptartment of Health had to say, I found a one-stop travel clinic that will handle all of our vaccinations, including Yellow Fever. We will also have to get anti-malarial drugs, which are a little pricey. It costs, from what I could find, somewhere around $75-100 per person for a two-week supply of Malarone.
It looks like Bob will be getting some shots this time, too!
Here are the links...
Health Department
http://wwwn.cdc.gov/travel/destinationIndia.aspx
Travel Health Clinic (NJ):
http://www.passporthealthnj.com/
Anyhoo, lets get to the reason for this post. While I was at the doctor today, I asked about vaccinations for India. Dr. Sahar explained that every area requires different vaccinations and I need to consult the US Department of Health to determine what is required for our specific destination of Mumbai. He said that his practice could handle some of the vaccinations if we gave him notice, but Yellow Fever is only adminstered by specified clinics. (We will need the Yellow Fever vaccination.)
After reading what the Deptartment of Health had to say, I found a one-stop travel clinic that will handle all of our vaccinations, including Yellow Fever. We will also have to get anti-malarial drugs, which are a little pricey. It costs, from what I could find, somewhere around $75-100 per person for a two-week supply of Malarone.
It looks like Bob will be getting some shots this time, too!
Here are the links...
Health Department
http://wwwn.cdc.gov/travel/destinationIndia.aspx
Travel Health Clinic (NJ):
http://www.passporthealthnj.com/
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Let's Get This Show on the Road
Well, it's been a couple of months since I posted.
Due to technical difficulties, we have decided against another round of IVF here at Cornell in the US.
So, last week we e-mailed India and started advertising for a surrogate. Today I photocopied all of my records and sent them off to Dr. Kaushal in Mumbai. I was astounded by the amount of papers my procedures have generated. My Fedex charge is going to be huge!
We were told that finding a surrogate will take 2-4 weeks, so we are hopeful that we will have found and screened someone by the end of January. The next step will be to synchronize the surrogate's cycle with mine which should take anywhere up to 6 weeks. Then we will begin the IVF cycle. We have drugs left over from previous cycles, so I plan to use those as opposed to drugs from the clinic in India. I have heard rumblings of the drugs in India not being as potent as the drugs in the US. Since I do not produce an overabundance of eggs, I think it is doubly important to use the drugs that I have here.
Logistically, right now, I have several things to work on. First on my list is to touch base with a doctor here in the US so that we can start my IVF cycle here. I would rather begin the stims and monitoring here in order to reduce the amount of time spent in India. Hopefully, if all goes well, we will spend a week to 10 days in India for retrieval and, possibly, transfer. I spoke to a doctor briefly at a clinic in New Jersey who was willing to work with my doctor in India. Now, I need to firm that up.
Secondly, I need to start researching more thoroughly our travel arrangements. I also believe India requires a travel visa.
Bob and I have a vacation to Aruba planned for mid-March, so I think we will end up in India sometime near the end of March or in April. I cannot believe how quickly this is moving.
We are so excited! Keep your fingers crossed for us!
Due to technical difficulties, we have decided against another round of IVF here at Cornell in the US.
So, last week we e-mailed India and started advertising for a surrogate. Today I photocopied all of my records and sent them off to Dr. Kaushal in Mumbai. I was astounded by the amount of papers my procedures have generated. My Fedex charge is going to be huge!
We were told that finding a surrogate will take 2-4 weeks, so we are hopeful that we will have found and screened someone by the end of January. The next step will be to synchronize the surrogate's cycle with mine which should take anywhere up to 6 weeks. Then we will begin the IVF cycle. We have drugs left over from previous cycles, so I plan to use those as opposed to drugs from the clinic in India. I have heard rumblings of the drugs in India not being as potent as the drugs in the US. Since I do not produce an overabundance of eggs, I think it is doubly important to use the drugs that I have here.
Logistically, right now, I have several things to work on. First on my list is to touch base with a doctor here in the US so that we can start my IVF cycle here. I would rather begin the stims and monitoring here in order to reduce the amount of time spent in India. Hopefully, if all goes well, we will spend a week to 10 days in India for retrieval and, possibly, transfer. I spoke to a doctor briefly at a clinic in New Jersey who was willing to work with my doctor in India. Now, I need to firm that up.
Secondly, I need to start researching more thoroughly our travel arrangements. I also believe India requires a travel visa.
Bob and I have a vacation to Aruba planned for mid-March, so I think we will end up in India sometime near the end of March or in April. I cannot believe how quickly this is moving.
We are so excited! Keep your fingers crossed for us!
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Play it Again, Cornell
Well, after much debate, we have decided to pursue one more cycle of IVF at Cornell. Dr. Chung feels that my uterus is viable and we should check our embryos through a process called PGD.
I find the thought of another round of IVF extremely frustrating, but logically it makes sense to do this.
The arguments were:
Move on to India
Why have a round of IVF here that will not result in a pregnancy. See, if my uterus is good and the embryos are bad, the result is no pregnancy. If the outcome is that the embryos are good, then we can finally determine for sure that it is my uterus that's the problem. Still, in the end no pregnancy. (Dr. Chung does not believe that our chances are that bleak. I think six failed rounds of IVF speaks volumes.)
IVF Cycle
If we have a round of IVF and determine that our embryos are not viable, then a surrogate is not an option. If we skip the IVF with PGD and move on to India, and a pregnancy doesn't result, will we try it again? Will we always wonder if it was the embryos? (Plus, there is the chance that it will work??)
Closure wins out on this one. To know, once and for all, if it's my uterus or our embryos before moving on is too important.
I find the thought of another round of IVF extremely frustrating, but logically it makes sense to do this.
The arguments were:
Move on to India
Why have a round of IVF here that will not result in a pregnancy. See, if my uterus is good and the embryos are bad, the result is no pregnancy. If the outcome is that the embryos are good, then we can finally determine for sure that it is my uterus that's the problem. Still, in the end no pregnancy. (Dr. Chung does not believe that our chances are that bleak. I think six failed rounds of IVF speaks volumes.)
IVF Cycle
If we have a round of IVF and determine that our embryos are not viable, then a surrogate is not an option. If we skip the IVF with PGD and move on to India, and a pregnancy doesn't result, will we try it again? Will we always wonder if it was the embryos? (Plus, there is the chance that it will work??)
Closure wins out on this one. To know, once and for all, if it's my uterus or our embryos before moving on is too important.
Friday, November 2, 2007
Pak Rocks!
Bob and I met with our doctor, Dr. Pak Chung, at Cornell. We hashed out all of the pros and cons of our situation with him and still don't really have our decision made.
Dr. Chung feels that another round of IVF should be the next step for us. Considering that it would be our seventh cycle, he understands that there is high amount of stress and emotion to cycling again. Medically speaking, he stresses, another round is what he recommends. Financially, emotionally...well, that's all to be considered as well.
I keep saying that a pregnancy from IVF is highly unlikely, not to mention a healthy, successful pregnancy. Dr. Chung seems to think the odds aren't quite so bad. I am fearful of spending too much money on IVF and limiting our further options (surrogacy or adoption). Dr. Chung pointed us to some different ways of reducing the cost of IVF for our specific situation.
We discussed India with him and he has offered to do as much research as possible on Rotunda for us. He was surprised to hear about India as an option. I was surprised that it was new to him. He expressed concerns for my care throughout the cycle and wants to make sure that an IVF cycle in India would be safe for us. He said that he sees many couples in our situation who become desperate and take risks at overseas clinics that could lead to disaster and gave a specific example of a procedure and clinic in Mexico. He did not say that going to India was a bad idea; he simply wants to help assure us of a good decision, in as much as he can.
Shipping/taking embryos to India is simply not possible. He said that the paperwork and effort expended in taking embryos just to the next state is incredible; out of the country would surely prove to be impossible. Also, he didn't think the embryos would survive that long.
So, right now Bob and I are in limbo. We have agreed between us that Bob will take care of finagling the financial burden of another round of IVF. (Did you know there are grants available through a few states? http://www.acog.org/acog_districts/dist_notice.cfm?recno=1&bulletin=1767) If Bob can make it work, I will do one more round. If he can't, we will continue our path to India. Hopefully, Dr. Chung is able to give us a green light on the facilities/doctors at Rotunda.
You know, Dr. Chung is the third RE I have had. I found it truly amazing how willing he is to help us, not just at Cornell, but in any choice we make. I did four cycles with other clinics and other doctors. I wish I had gone straight to Cornell.
Dr. Chung feels that another round of IVF should be the next step for us. Considering that it would be our seventh cycle, he understands that there is high amount of stress and emotion to cycling again. Medically speaking, he stresses, another round is what he recommends. Financially, emotionally...well, that's all to be considered as well.
I keep saying that a pregnancy from IVF is highly unlikely, not to mention a healthy, successful pregnancy. Dr. Chung seems to think the odds aren't quite so bad. I am fearful of spending too much money on IVF and limiting our further options (surrogacy or adoption). Dr. Chung pointed us to some different ways of reducing the cost of IVF for our specific situation.
We discussed India with him and he has offered to do as much research as possible on Rotunda for us. He was surprised to hear about India as an option. I was surprised that it was new to him. He expressed concerns for my care throughout the cycle and wants to make sure that an IVF cycle in India would be safe for us. He said that he sees many couples in our situation who become desperate and take risks at overseas clinics that could lead to disaster and gave a specific example of a procedure and clinic in Mexico. He did not say that going to India was a bad idea; he simply wants to help assure us of a good decision, in as much as he can.
Shipping/taking embryos to India is simply not possible. He said that the paperwork and effort expended in taking embryos just to the next state is incredible; out of the country would surely prove to be impossible. Also, he didn't think the embryos would survive that long.
So, right now Bob and I are in limbo. We have agreed between us that Bob will take care of finagling the financial burden of another round of IVF. (Did you know there are grants available through a few states? http://www.acog.org/acog_districts/dist_notice.cfm?recno=1&bulletin=1767) If Bob can make it work, I will do one more round. If he can't, we will continue our path to India. Hopefully, Dr. Chung is able to give us a green light on the facilities/doctors at Rotunda.
You know, Dr. Chung is the third RE I have had. I found it truly amazing how willing he is to help us, not just at Cornell, but in any choice we make. I did four cycles with other clinics and other doctors. I wish I had gone straight to Cornell.
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