Well, we got an email from Dr. Kaushal today that gave us our travel dates. We are in shock.
We have to be in Mumbai on March 30th. I start Lupron on March 24th. The estimated retrieval is going to be around April 11.
We thought it would be later in April, or even May. We are thrilled and excited and absolutely terrified. When Bob saw the email and called me he said something like, "Holy crap. We have to hurry up and do our taxes." I had to laugh, because I could tell he was feeling the same confusion that I was feeling. We have a million things going through our heads right now...silly stuff, like who will take care of Maisy? What do I pack? And important stuff...what about the visa applications? What about payment, money, hotel....arggg! Panic!
I was able to book our airfare and hotel reservations. I filled out the visa applications online and printed them out. We will have to take the application to the office in New York in person.
I made an appointment to have all of our shots on Wednesday because we need to have them two weeks prior to travel in order for them to be effective. Bob and I had planned a trip to Aruba with a group of friends and are leaving on Thursday and will return next Tuesday. The fact that we need to get our shots before we leave for Aruba and we need our passports for Aruba has made the visas and the shots a little more urgent, but not impossible.
So when we return next Tuesday we have a week and a half to get ourselves together for our trip to India.
This is happening so fast!!! I know what I have to do and have been preparing mentally for this, but I thought I would have more lead time to complete everything. I think, overall, that I am glad that this is happening so quickly. While it's speeding along, you aren't left with a lot of time to worry.
I am going to post the costs sometime in the next week. Everything from travel costs to actual IVF/Surrogate fees. It adds up quickly.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Friday, March 7, 2008
Wow!
We are matched! We received our surrogate's profile via email at 7:00am this morning. She is a 22 year old married mother of two little girls and in perfect health. I cried when I opened the email and saw her picture. She is the answer to our prayers.
Today I started birth control pills for the syncing of cycles. Honestly, I am not sure where the surrogate is in her cycle and/or if they started her on drugs. I was told that we will be given travel dates soon! I emailed the clinic to find out if the surrogate will be staying in the clinic's housing or will be living elsewhere.
It became real for us today. It is thrilling and scary and sad in a way. Today I saw the woman who will carry my pregnancy. Wow.
Today I started birth control pills for the syncing of cycles. Honestly, I am not sure where the surrogate is in her cycle and/or if they started her on drugs. I was told that we will be given travel dates soon! I emailed the clinic to find out if the surrogate will be staying in the clinic's housing or will be living elsewhere.
It became real for us today. It is thrilling and scary and sad in a way. Today I saw the woman who will carry my pregnancy. Wow.
Friday, February 22, 2008
I am so excited!
Well, it's been a while since I posted. Things at work and in our personal lives have been a little hectic.
I consult for a company that is laying off the department in which I work. I have been consulting with them for about two and half years because it allowed me to take the time off that I needed for all of my IVF treatments. I was supposed to have a job through the end of June, but they decided to make final cuts the end of March instead. The beauty of it is that they are going to pay me through June. This allows me to take as much time as I need in India with no pressure to get back. Bob works from home for a UK company that has offices India, so he has a lot of flexability as well. He can work with a laptop or go into the office there if he needs to. It feels a bit like the stars are in alignment to make this trip totally stress free.
We completed all of our testing a week and a half ago. I have been instructed to begin birth control pills with the onset of my next period in order to coordinate my cycle with a surrogate. My next period should begin sometime around March 10th. I believe that we should recieve information of surrogates in the couple of weeks. If our cycles are able to be synched quickly, we may be able to do our cycle in April. If not, we are looking at May.
We are so excited! I guess I need to start working on making appointments for shots and travel visas...
I consult for a company that is laying off the department in which I work. I have been consulting with them for about two and half years because it allowed me to take the time off that I needed for all of my IVF treatments. I was supposed to have a job through the end of June, but they decided to make final cuts the end of March instead. The beauty of it is that they are going to pay me through June. This allows me to take as much time as I need in India with no pressure to get back. Bob works from home for a UK company that has offices India, so he has a lot of flexability as well. He can work with a laptop or go into the office there if he needs to. It feels a bit like the stars are in alignment to make this trip totally stress free.
We completed all of our testing a week and a half ago. I have been instructed to begin birth control pills with the onset of my next period in order to coordinate my cycle with a surrogate. My next period should begin sometime around March 10th. I believe that we should recieve information of surrogates in the couple of weeks. If our cycles are able to be synched quickly, we may be able to do our cycle in April. If not, we are looking at May.
We are so excited! I guess I need to start working on making appointments for shots and travel visas...
Monday, February 4, 2008
Doctor, Meet Doctor
Well, I just sent an email to my doctor in India and my doctor in the U.S. so that they can coordinate all tests, results from tests and monitoring.
Bob and I sat down with Dr. Morgan, an RE with whom we had gone through two cycles of IVF. We had prepared ourselves for negative attitude when it came to our choice for surrogacy, but were pleasantly surprised at how supportive and open Dr. Morgan was to our decision. He was very up front about how the process would work. He explained that our doctors in Mumbai will be our 'primary' doctors and Dr. Morgan will act on their requests. This concerns us a bit because communication between us and India has not had a quick turn around. Ultimately, you have to remember that you are dealing with a country with poor infrastructure and communications can be delayed and have breakdowns at any point. The idea of relying on daily requests from India in order to conduct monitoring is concerning.
Then we met with Dr. Morgan's billing person. She explained that each monitoring session during the stimulation portion of our cycle would cost between roughly $540-$750, depending on how much blood work is requested.
When Bob and I did the math and added in the communication concerns, we realized quickly that it definitely made more sense to conduct the whole cycle in India.
So, we have decided that we will remain in the US until we begin the stimulation portion of the IVF cycle. We will do our preliminary testing with Dr. Morgan and have our baseline ultrasound here.
I have begun to look at travel arrangements. Delta now offers a flight from JFK in New York directly to Mumbai. The flight is fifteen hours. (When I think about possibly making that flight home with an infant, I get this feeling that's a mixture of hope and panic! It makes my heart got all fluttery!)
It's likely that we will stay at the Hilton because we have a ton of reward points with them. We are looking at a hotel called the Ascot as a second choice.
I think we will look at executive suites or short term apartment rentals while we are in India for the IVF cycle, so that if we come back for a baby, we will have options for a place to stay with a kitchen and a separate bedroom. We could end up being there for as long as a month with an infant, so every little bit of advance planning will help.
Bob and I sat down with Dr. Morgan, an RE with whom we had gone through two cycles of IVF. We had prepared ourselves for negative attitude when it came to our choice for surrogacy, but were pleasantly surprised at how supportive and open Dr. Morgan was to our decision. He was very up front about how the process would work. He explained that our doctors in Mumbai will be our 'primary' doctors and Dr. Morgan will act on their requests. This concerns us a bit because communication between us and India has not had a quick turn around. Ultimately, you have to remember that you are dealing with a country with poor infrastructure and communications can be delayed and have breakdowns at any point. The idea of relying on daily requests from India in order to conduct monitoring is concerning.
Then we met with Dr. Morgan's billing person. She explained that each monitoring session during the stimulation portion of our cycle would cost between roughly $540-$750, depending on how much blood work is requested.
When Bob and I did the math and added in the communication concerns, we realized quickly that it definitely made more sense to conduct the whole cycle in India.
So, we have decided that we will remain in the US until we begin the stimulation portion of the IVF cycle. We will do our preliminary testing with Dr. Morgan and have our baseline ultrasound here.
I have begun to look at travel arrangements. Delta now offers a flight from JFK in New York directly to Mumbai. The flight is fifteen hours. (When I think about possibly making that flight home with an infant, I get this feeling that's a mixture of hope and panic! It makes my heart got all fluttery!)
It's likely that we will stay at the Hilton because we have a ton of reward points with them. We are looking at a hotel called the Ascot as a second choice.
I think we will look at executive suites or short term apartment rentals while we are in India for the IVF cycle, so that if we come back for a baby, we will have options for a place to stay with a kitchen and a separate bedroom. We could end up being there for as long as a month with an infant, so every little bit of advance planning will help.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Moving Right Along
So, two weeks ago I sent my medical records to Rotunda and heard back last week. Dr. Guatam emailed us a list of tests for screening on our end. Some are for me, some are for Bob and some are for both of us.
Here's what they asked for:
Baseline Profile (To be done on Day 2/3 of your menses)
·Serum FSH
·Serum LH
·Serum TSH
·Serum Prolactin
·Routine Semen Analysis
·Semen Culture ABST
·Antisperm Antibodies
·Test for HbsAg
·HIV (1+2) Antibody
·Blood Grouping & Rh typing
We have had these tests so many times that it is frustrating to have to repeat them, but at least there aren't any surprises.
Dr. Guatam said they are in the process of screening surrogates on their end, and will present us with profiles when the testing is complete.
I made an appointment to see our RE in NJ for a consultation tomorrow. I had two previous rounds of IVF with this doctor and know that he is willing to help with this process. We need to discuss many issues during the consultation. We are trying to decide what will make more sense, starting stimming here in the U.S. and going to India after the trigger shot for retrieval and transfer, thereby limiting our time in India, or doing the whole process over there, which could take two weeks. Cost is a factor. Time off from work is a factor.
I see my therapist, Marni Rosner, every week. I started seeing her with my fifth negative cycle, when it was so hard to accept that my body wouldn't perform. There are so many feelings of loss and shame tied to infertility that it was a real struggle to get through, and is a struggle to this day. This journey has been hard on my marriage, my family and my friends. I am so grateful for the people in my life who have been so understanding and supportive; sometimes I think it is harder for them than for me.
I guess I am writing all of this so that I can also blog about the emotional struggles that come with surrogacy. I found Marni through the Resolve website and she specializes in patients dealing with infertility. She has been wonderful in keeping my spirit healthy when it comes to dealing with this trauma. So I have great help!
I read these surrogacy message boards where the women have these great relationships with their gestational carriers and I can't help but to feel grateful that I won't have to be a part of the day to day in my GCs pregnancy. I know some people would feel completely different and would want to be a part of the step-by-step process. Not me. I want to meet her. I want to know that she is safe, well cared for, that her health is not risked by the pregnancy. I want her to know that 'grateful' doesn't begin to cover how Bob and I feel about her doing this for us. I get choked up at the thought of looking this person in the eyes and trying to express what her sacrifice means to us.
I understand that this surrogacy will not be completely anonymous. I think we meet her before and at transfer and after delivery. How do you thank someone for changing your life and giving you a gift like this?
I want to add this really fantastic website that I read a lot. I find the FAQ section like a security blanket that I reread when I start to get overwhelmed by this process. It's reassuring somehow.
www.oneinsix.com
Here's what they asked for:
Baseline Profile (To be done on Day 2/3 of your menses)
·Serum FSH
·Serum LH
·Serum TSH
·Serum Prolactin
·Routine Semen Analysis
·Semen Culture ABST
·Antisperm Antibodies
·Test for HbsAg
·HIV (1+2) Antibody
·Blood Grouping & Rh typing
We have had these tests so many times that it is frustrating to have to repeat them, but at least there aren't any surprises.
Dr. Guatam said they are in the process of screening surrogates on their end, and will present us with profiles when the testing is complete.
I made an appointment to see our RE in NJ for a consultation tomorrow. I had two previous rounds of IVF with this doctor and know that he is willing to help with this process. We need to discuss many issues during the consultation. We are trying to decide what will make more sense, starting stimming here in the U.S. and going to India after the trigger shot for retrieval and transfer, thereby limiting our time in India, or doing the whole process over there, which could take two weeks. Cost is a factor. Time off from work is a factor.
I see my therapist, Marni Rosner, every week. I started seeing her with my fifth negative cycle, when it was so hard to accept that my body wouldn't perform. There are so many feelings of loss and shame tied to infertility that it was a real struggle to get through, and is a struggle to this day. This journey has been hard on my marriage, my family and my friends. I am so grateful for the people in my life who have been so understanding and supportive; sometimes I think it is harder for them than for me.
I guess I am writing all of this so that I can also blog about the emotional struggles that come with surrogacy. I found Marni through the Resolve website and she specializes in patients dealing with infertility. She has been wonderful in keeping my spirit healthy when it comes to dealing with this trauma. So I have great help!
I read these surrogacy message boards where the women have these great relationships with their gestational carriers and I can't help but to feel grateful that I won't have to be a part of the day to day in my GCs pregnancy. I know some people would feel completely different and would want to be a part of the step-by-step process. Not me. I want to meet her. I want to know that she is safe, well cared for, that her health is not risked by the pregnancy. I want her to know that 'grateful' doesn't begin to cover how Bob and I feel about her doing this for us. I get choked up at the thought of looking this person in the eyes and trying to express what her sacrifice means to us.
I understand that this surrogacy will not be completely anonymous. I think we meet her before and at transfer and after delivery. How do you thank someone for changing your life and giving you a gift like this?
I want to add this really fantastic website that I read a lot. I find the FAQ section like a security blanket that I reread when I start to get overwhelmed by this process. It's reassuring somehow.
www.oneinsix.com
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Vaccinations are SCARY!
I have had a terrible cold for about three weeks, which finally brought me to the doctor today. It turns out I have brochitis and am spending the day on the couch with my laptop and my new puppy, Maisy. She's a mintiature schauzer/poodle mix, a "schnoodle," that we got the day after Thanksgiving. Bob and I are in love with her; she's really filled a hole in our lives.
Anyhoo, lets get to the reason for this post. While I was at the doctor today, I asked about vaccinations for India. Dr. Sahar explained that every area requires different vaccinations and I need to consult the US Department of Health to determine what is required for our specific destination of Mumbai. He said that his practice could handle some of the vaccinations if we gave him notice, but Yellow Fever is only adminstered by specified clinics. (We will need the Yellow Fever vaccination.)
After reading what the Deptartment of Health had to say, I found a one-stop travel clinic that will handle all of our vaccinations, including Yellow Fever. We will also have to get anti-malarial drugs, which are a little pricey. It costs, from what I could find, somewhere around $75-100 per person for a two-week supply of Malarone.
It looks like Bob will be getting some shots this time, too!
Here are the links...
Health Department
http://wwwn.cdc.gov/travel/destinationIndia.aspx
Travel Health Clinic (NJ):
http://www.passporthealthnj.com/
Anyhoo, lets get to the reason for this post. While I was at the doctor today, I asked about vaccinations for India. Dr. Sahar explained that every area requires different vaccinations and I need to consult the US Department of Health to determine what is required for our specific destination of Mumbai. He said that his practice could handle some of the vaccinations if we gave him notice, but Yellow Fever is only adminstered by specified clinics. (We will need the Yellow Fever vaccination.)
After reading what the Deptartment of Health had to say, I found a one-stop travel clinic that will handle all of our vaccinations, including Yellow Fever. We will also have to get anti-malarial drugs, which are a little pricey. It costs, from what I could find, somewhere around $75-100 per person for a two-week supply of Malarone.
It looks like Bob will be getting some shots this time, too!
Here are the links...
Health Department
http://wwwn.cdc.gov/travel/destinationIndia.aspx
Travel Health Clinic (NJ):
http://www.passporthealthnj.com/
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Let's Get This Show on the Road
Well, it's been a couple of months since I posted.
Due to technical difficulties, we have decided against another round of IVF here at Cornell in the US.
So, last week we e-mailed India and started advertising for a surrogate. Today I photocopied all of my records and sent them off to Dr. Kaushal in Mumbai. I was astounded by the amount of papers my procedures have generated. My Fedex charge is going to be huge!
We were told that finding a surrogate will take 2-4 weeks, so we are hopeful that we will have found and screened someone by the end of January. The next step will be to synchronize the surrogate's cycle with mine which should take anywhere up to 6 weeks. Then we will begin the IVF cycle. We have drugs left over from previous cycles, so I plan to use those as opposed to drugs from the clinic in India. I have heard rumblings of the drugs in India not being as potent as the drugs in the US. Since I do not produce an overabundance of eggs, I think it is doubly important to use the drugs that I have here.
Logistically, right now, I have several things to work on. First on my list is to touch base with a doctor here in the US so that we can start my IVF cycle here. I would rather begin the stims and monitoring here in order to reduce the amount of time spent in India. Hopefully, if all goes well, we will spend a week to 10 days in India for retrieval and, possibly, transfer. I spoke to a doctor briefly at a clinic in New Jersey who was willing to work with my doctor in India. Now, I need to firm that up.
Secondly, I need to start researching more thoroughly our travel arrangements. I also believe India requires a travel visa.
Bob and I have a vacation to Aruba planned for mid-March, so I think we will end up in India sometime near the end of March or in April. I cannot believe how quickly this is moving.
We are so excited! Keep your fingers crossed for us!
Due to technical difficulties, we have decided against another round of IVF here at Cornell in the US.
So, last week we e-mailed India and started advertising for a surrogate. Today I photocopied all of my records and sent them off to Dr. Kaushal in Mumbai. I was astounded by the amount of papers my procedures have generated. My Fedex charge is going to be huge!
We were told that finding a surrogate will take 2-4 weeks, so we are hopeful that we will have found and screened someone by the end of January. The next step will be to synchronize the surrogate's cycle with mine which should take anywhere up to 6 weeks. Then we will begin the IVF cycle. We have drugs left over from previous cycles, so I plan to use those as opposed to drugs from the clinic in India. I have heard rumblings of the drugs in India not being as potent as the drugs in the US. Since I do not produce an overabundance of eggs, I think it is doubly important to use the drugs that I have here.
Logistically, right now, I have several things to work on. First on my list is to touch base with a doctor here in the US so that we can start my IVF cycle here. I would rather begin the stims and monitoring here in order to reduce the amount of time spent in India. Hopefully, if all goes well, we will spend a week to 10 days in India for retrieval and, possibly, transfer. I spoke to a doctor briefly at a clinic in New Jersey who was willing to work with my doctor in India. Now, I need to firm that up.
Secondly, I need to start researching more thoroughly our travel arrangements. I also believe India requires a travel visa.
Bob and I have a vacation to Aruba planned for mid-March, so I think we will end up in India sometime near the end of March or in April. I cannot believe how quickly this is moving.
We are so excited! Keep your fingers crossed for us!
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