The Roller Coaster: IVF or India?

Last week we started the ball rolling on finding a surrogate in India. Then we asked Dr. Kaushal to hold off on advertising for a surrogate until this week.

See, a few hours after wiring the money to India, my doctor here at Cornell called and wanted to discuss another round of IVF. My heart was not in this discussion (remember, we've done six rounds already), but in the interest of making a solid, well-informed decision, Bob and I are going to consult with him tomorrow.

We'd also like to hear what the doctor will think of the option to pursue surrogacy in India. We are also curious to see if we could do a round at Cornell, freeze any healthy embryos and ship (or take) them to India for transfer to a surrogate. Should be an interesting meeting.

When we emailed Dr. Kaushal and asked to hold off advertising for a surrogate for a week, we also asked about the complexity of sending frozen embryos over to her. She said it was possible, that Fedex could handle it, but there are risks involved in moving the embryos through customs.

As my research continues, I also emailed the US Embassy in Mumbai on Thursday asking what the process would be for taking an infant out of India in the case of the baby being the genetic child of US Citizens. They sent me back a lovely email with several links. I will post those links at the bottom of this post, but essentially they said that the baby would be issued a birth certificate showing a US citizen's birth abroad and it would be a hellish day getting all the paperwork done at the embassy (both parents and baby must be present--they suggest bringing a nanny). The baby's passport for travel would be issued after 15 working days. You can apply for an emergency passport, but I am not sure of what quantifies an "emergency." See, I think two blonds with absolutely no parenting experience in a Mumbai hotel room with an infant for 3 weeks constitutes an emergency, but who knows if the US Government will agree...

http://mumbai.usconsulate.gov/children_with_no_claim.html
http://mumbai.usconsulate.gov/transmission_requirements_.html
http://mumbai.usconsulate.gov/birth_abroad.html.

Baby Steps

In all of the ups and downs of infertility, the one very painful lesson for me has been patience. Never does the scheduling, timing, or length of the current process work to your advantage or fast enough for you. It's always just hurry up and wait. I have learned to accept taking it one step at a time, or as I have come to ironically think of it, baby steps. Focus on the next step, the next shot, the next doctor's appointment. Big picture thinking just makes for a lot of frustration!

After a lot of discussion, internet research and a several emails to clinics, Bob and I set up a conference call with Dr. Kaushal at the Rotunda clinic in Mumbai this morning. We woke up at 5:45am and made the 6:00am call. It was 3:30pm in India.

I should clarify that Bob and I are looking for a gestational carrier. We will use our own embryos and have them transferred to surrogate. We make healthy embryos, my body just doesn't seem to have the ability to carry them.

We had gleaned a mass of information from the internet and basically had it all validated by Dr. Kaushal over the phone. She was friendly and understanding. She was clear and easily understood.

We will wire a fee of $704US (28,000 rupees) this afternoon. This fee will pay for advertising and screening of a surrogate. Dr. Kaushal felt that we will have a match in approximately four weeks. Once there is a match, she will send us a dossier and picture of the surrogate. It will take 6-8 weeks for a syncing of cycles (the surrogate's cycle to mine). I will go to Mumbai for stimulation and egg retrieval, staying in Mumbai for approximately 15 days.

This is so fast, SO FAST! What happended to the baby steps?

Bob and I are so excited and scared. A surro in India? This is surreal...

Our Introduction

My husband, Bob, and I have been married for four years. We starting trying to have a baby three and a half years ago.

We bought a nice, roomy townhouse in suburbia and bought the required SUV, and we started trying. All of our friends had or were having children, so we assumed it would just be a matter of time. We were so naive!

I was diagnosed with a unicoruate uterus. That essentially means I have half a uterus and would have a difficult time carrying baby to term. Miscarriage is common with this genetic anomoly. It also decreases the chance of implantation by about half of the normal female. So, four pregnancy losses and six failed IVF treatments later, we found ourselves at a crossroad. What to do now?

We decided to go to India and use a surrogate. We had done much research on our options and were liking the idea more and more of going to India. Lately, there seems to be more media coverage on the process. There was an article in Marie Clare and then Oprah did a segment in which Lisa Ling went to India and followed an American couple on their journey. This clinched the decision for us.

I cannot seem to find any information from anyone in the U.S. who has done a surrogacy in India, so I decided to start this blog. I want to share our journey with others who are suffering from infertility and looking at available options. Hopefully, this story will have a happy ending.

Stay tuned for more updates!