This morning we received our negative result via email. We really weren't surprised given the poor fertilization rate and the fact that grade B embryos were transferred.
We are so very disappointed in the outcome of this cycle. We are going to take some time to reflect on our journey and decide what our next step will be...
Friday, April 25, 2008
Sunday, April 13, 2008
The Stats
So, we got the stats on what we ended up with.
They got 12 eggs, 8 of which were good "mature" eggs, 6 of those fertilized and three looked good enough to transfer. So yesterday, three embryos were transferred to our surrogate! Everything went well with the transfer, so now we just sit and pray and wait for The Test!
Yesterday we felt a bit sick and didn't do too much except nap by the pool and swim in the ocean. This afternoon, we are heading back to Mumbai to catch our flight home tonight. We are both homesick and can't wait to see our friends and family again! My cousin Stacy has promised to meet us at the airport with twinkies. Nothing says "Welcome Home to America" like a twinkie!!
They got 12 eggs, 8 of which were good "mature" eggs, 6 of those fertilized and three looked good enough to transfer. So yesterday, three embryos were transferred to our surrogate! Everything went well with the transfer, so now we just sit and pray and wait for The Test!
Yesterday we felt a bit sick and didn't do too much except nap by the pool and swim in the ocean. This afternoon, we are heading back to Mumbai to catch our flight home tonight. We are both homesick and can't wait to see our friends and family again! My cousin Stacy has promised to meet us at the airport with twinkies. Nothing says "Welcome Home to America" like a twinkie!!
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Just Call Me Mister Bob
The thing I find most odd about India is the whole male-dominated society thing. Yesterday morning, I decided I was going to test it. I didn't address anyone until they had addressed me. All of the staff addressed Bob with a "Good morning, Sir" or "Good morning, Mister Bob." I got a smile. When we got down to the restaurant for breakfast, they addressed Bob for seating and asked him if we wanted coffee. I made it through the first 45 minutes of my morning without being verbally acknowledged, while Bob had chatted with at least ten people. I told him about it and he laughed; it was true, I was rarely spoken to during this trip. Even the doctors address Bob when explaining things; if Bob is not in the room, they address me directly. If I ask a question or greet someone first, I get a direct and friendly response. On the contracts for surrogacy, the surrogate's husband has to sign his approval. There is a male doctor at the clinic who told me that the female patients don't talk to him. They talk to the female doctors; he talks to the husbands. So strange...
We had an uneventful flight to Goa and arrived at our hotel safe and sound. The hotel is amazing; they greet you with a coconut and a straw so you can drink the juice. The pool is huge and multi-leveled. The rooms themselves have these amazing bathrooms that include an outdoor shower. The rooms, however, are very musty smelling. The first room they took us to was unbearably musty so we moved on to one that is better.
Last night, we took an hour long cab ride to Night Bazaar. We had heard that it was fun; shopping, dancing, food and live music. We had a good time--it was kind of a huge flea market filled with sunburned Europeans and hippies. There are a lot of hippies here!! We saw a woman with the worst sunburn we have ever seen. She should have been hospitalized, not walking around a bazaar.
Today we should find out via email how many embryos end up being transfered. We can't wait to hear!!
We had an uneventful flight to Goa and arrived at our hotel safe and sound. The hotel is amazing; they greet you with a coconut and a straw so you can drink the juice. The pool is huge and multi-leveled. The rooms themselves have these amazing bathrooms that include an outdoor shower. The rooms, however, are very musty smelling. The first room they took us to was unbearably musty so we moved on to one that is better.
Last night, we took an hour long cab ride to Night Bazaar. We had heard that it was fun; shopping, dancing, food and live music. We had a good time--it was kind of a huge flea market filled with sunburned Europeans and hippies. There are a lot of hippies here!! We saw a woman with the worst sunburn we have ever seen. She should have been hospitalized, not walking around a bazaar.
Today we should find out via email how many embryos end up being transfered. We can't wait to hear!!
Friday, April 11, 2008
It's Done!
Today we had our retrieval and it went very well! We ended up with a dozen eggs (haha) and were back in our hotel room by noon. I feel great--no soreness at all! I was extremely groggy afterwards; I think they are used to anesthetizing little five foot Indian women and may have overcompensated for five foot nine inch me! Needless to say, we ordered room service and I slept the afternoon away.
We signed all the surrogacy contracts prior to the retrieval and they will mail us our copies after the surrogate and her husband signs them. They will inform us via email how many embryos we come out with for transfer.
We were unable to switch our flight to Saturday night as we were hoping. We found out that we have to stay in India until Monday night--otherwise we would have had to pay change fees and take first class seating, which made it just too pricey to change. So, we decided to fly to Goa in the morning and fly back to Mumbai on Monday afternoon. The Maratha hotel has a refreshment suite for showering and resting between flights and will hold most of our baggage, so it should work out well.
We really wanted to get home, but we will settle for a trip to see the beautiful beaches of India instead. We are staying at the Park Hyatt Goa Resort and Spa for two nights. I have heard wonderful things about Goa; a lot of Mumbiakars go to Goa for the weekend. It's about a 10 hour drive, but there are sleeper buses that leave in the evening and arrive in the morning. Bob was trying to convince me to do that or even to take the overnight train. I thought the one-hour flight would be the wiser choice!
The locals tell us that it's too hot in Goa now for them! Bob looked up the weather in Goa; it says its 93 degrees but feels like 106 degrees. Yeah, that's hot... Mumbai is 96 today, but only feels like a cool 101.
We signed all the surrogacy contracts prior to the retrieval and they will mail us our copies after the surrogate and her husband signs them. They will inform us via email how many embryos we come out with for transfer.
We were unable to switch our flight to Saturday night as we were hoping. We found out that we have to stay in India until Monday night--otherwise we would have had to pay change fees and take first class seating, which made it just too pricey to change. So, we decided to fly to Goa in the morning and fly back to Mumbai on Monday afternoon. The Maratha hotel has a refreshment suite for showering and resting between flights and will hold most of our baggage, so it should work out well.
We really wanted to get home, but we will settle for a trip to see the beautiful beaches of India instead. We are staying at the Park Hyatt Goa Resort and Spa for two nights. I have heard wonderful things about Goa; a lot of Mumbiakars go to Goa for the weekend. It's about a 10 hour drive, but there are sleeper buses that leave in the evening and arrive in the morning. Bob was trying to convince me to do that or even to take the overnight train. I thought the one-hour flight would be the wiser choice!
The locals tell us that it's too hot in Goa now for them! Bob looked up the weather in Goa; it says its 93 degrees but feels like 106 degrees. Yeah, that's hot... Mumbai is 96 today, but only feels like a cool 101.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Update, update!
So, let me start off by saying that Bob gave me my trigger shot last night at 10:30pm and we are scheduled for egg retrieval on Friday morning at 8:30am. The retrieval is done at the doctor's office in an operating room they have in back (an "operating theater"). They have an anesthesiologist and an embryologist on staff.
Our plan is to have retrieval on Friday and get a flight home on Saturday night. Since we don't meet our surrogate and they will transfer all embryos, there is no reason to stay for transfer.
We were so happy to give the last shot last night. I hope it's our last shot ever!
Here's what we've been up the past couple of days:
On Tuesday, we got up and headed into the doctor's office for bloodwork. The doctor's office is in a wealthier neighborhood called Bandra. The first day we were here and drove to the clinic, I remember thinking, "Oh my God, where the hell are we going? What are we doing? Look at this neighborhood!" Now that our sensibilities have adjusted to India, we see past the dust and chaos, and see the area for what it is...one of the nicer tree-lined areas in Mumbai. I am kind of amused by the turn around in my own judgment.
After Dr. Kaushal, we headed over to Dr. Priya, our Lasik surgeon, for a check on our new and improved peepers. Our vision is great! She pronounced us healthy but insisted we come back for another check on Thursday. We are getting very tired of doctor's offices.
We shopped for a bit, headed back to the hotel pool for a swim and got ready for dinner with a couple we met from this blog, Rhonda and Gerry. Rhonda and Gerry are from Arizona and are also here in Mumbai for a surrogacy. They are using a different clinic and a service called SurrrogacyIndia. Their service is different then ours in some ways, the same in others. The main difference is that they have an open surrogacy. They meet their surrogate and their surrogate's family. It was interesting to share our experiences. We had a really nice dinner and were very lucky to connect with this couple...hopefully we'll meet them again in nine months!!
On Wednesday, it was up and out to Dr. Kaushal again...more bloodwork! Afterwards, we went to a street bazaar in Bandra called Linking Road. They had stalls of shoes as far as the eye could see. We had a great time...I would pick out the shoes and Bob would barter for a good price. We both got to do do something we loved! The heat was oppressive, though, and we didn't last too long. I was sweating in places I didn't even know you could sweat. As we walked through the stalls, these two blond girls came running up to us screaming "Oh, more tourists! Yay!" Bob, holding a camera and a guidebook, tried to convince them he was a local. They laughed and said they were from Switzerland and hadn't seen another tourist since the arrived the day before. We blonds don't exactly blend!
After decided we just couldn't take the heat anymore, we went to the spa. It was phenomenal! We both got facials and massages. My therapist was this little Hindi who couldn't have weighed more than 100lbs soaking wet, and didn't speak a lick of English. I thought to myself that this was going to be one of those wimpy massages, and I like a deep massage. Well, let me tell you, she beat the hell out of me. I loved it! Bob's facialist told him he had the skin of the thirty-year old; boy, was he happy! Between the teeth whitening, lasik and facial, Bob is having a man-makeover! I came to India with Bob, and am going back home with someone else! I hope they don't look to hard at his passport picture!
For dinner last night, we went to a restaurant called Barbecue Nation. It costs 500 rupees ($12.50) per person. They sit you at a table with a grille in the middle; on the grille they put kebob after kebob made of all different kinds of meats and vegetables...shrimp, lamb, chicken, fish, etc. The kebobs are 90% cooked and you are given basting sauces and brushes to finish them they way you like (they only need about two additional minutes on the grille). They kept bringing out more kebobs (it's all you can eat)! After that, you can go up to a buffet with more food and desserts. We had a great time!
If you eat in your hotel or a higher end restaurant, we are told that you are safe to eat the fruit, vegetables, ice. My personal policy has been to only do this in our hotels. I do not want to risk getting sick before my retrieval. Bob has been just fine, though, so the theory has been tested and proved true!
To and from dinner last night we took a rickshaw. These are little three-wheeled contraptions that are incredibly light, maneuverable and fun! The major drawback is that they are open-aired so the smog, exhaust and dust can be overwhelming. Bob loves to argue the price with the drivers. They are metered, but the drivers will try to convince you that it actually cost more. Bob loves to dicker over prices!
We are coming to love India!
Our plan is to have retrieval on Friday and get a flight home on Saturday night. Since we don't meet our surrogate and they will transfer all embryos, there is no reason to stay for transfer.
We were so happy to give the last shot last night. I hope it's our last shot ever!
Here's what we've been up the past couple of days:
On Tuesday, we got up and headed into the doctor's office for bloodwork. The doctor's office is in a wealthier neighborhood called Bandra. The first day we were here and drove to the clinic, I remember thinking, "Oh my God, where the hell are we going? What are we doing? Look at this neighborhood!" Now that our sensibilities have adjusted to India, we see past the dust and chaos, and see the area for what it is...one of the nicer tree-lined areas in Mumbai. I am kind of amused by the turn around in my own judgment.
After Dr. Kaushal, we headed over to Dr. Priya, our Lasik surgeon, for a check on our new and improved peepers. Our vision is great! She pronounced us healthy but insisted we come back for another check on Thursday. We are getting very tired of doctor's offices.
We shopped for a bit, headed back to the hotel pool for a swim and got ready for dinner with a couple we met from this blog, Rhonda and Gerry. Rhonda and Gerry are from Arizona and are also here in Mumbai for a surrogacy. They are using a different clinic and a service called SurrrogacyIndia. Their service is different then ours in some ways, the same in others. The main difference is that they have an open surrogacy. They meet their surrogate and their surrogate's family. It was interesting to share our experiences. We had a really nice dinner and were very lucky to connect with this couple...hopefully we'll meet them again in nine months!!
On Wednesday, it was up and out to Dr. Kaushal again...more bloodwork! Afterwards, we went to a street bazaar in Bandra called Linking Road. They had stalls of shoes as far as the eye could see. We had a great time...I would pick out the shoes and Bob would barter for a good price. We both got to do do something we loved! The heat was oppressive, though, and we didn't last too long. I was sweating in places I didn't even know you could sweat. As we walked through the stalls, these two blond girls came running up to us screaming "Oh, more tourists! Yay!" Bob, holding a camera and a guidebook, tried to convince them he was a local. They laughed and said they were from Switzerland and hadn't seen another tourist since the arrived the day before. We blonds don't exactly blend!
After decided we just couldn't take the heat anymore, we went to the spa. It was phenomenal! We both got facials and massages. My therapist was this little Hindi who couldn't have weighed more than 100lbs soaking wet, and didn't speak a lick of English. I thought to myself that this was going to be one of those wimpy massages, and I like a deep massage. Well, let me tell you, she beat the hell out of me. I loved it! Bob's facialist told him he had the skin of the thirty-year old; boy, was he happy! Between the teeth whitening, lasik and facial, Bob is having a man-makeover! I came to India with Bob, and am going back home with someone else! I hope they don't look to hard at his passport picture!
For dinner last night, we went to a restaurant called Barbecue Nation. It costs 500 rupees ($12.50) per person. They sit you at a table with a grille in the middle; on the grille they put kebob after kebob made of all different kinds of meats and vegetables...shrimp, lamb, chicken, fish, etc. The kebobs are 90% cooked and you are given basting sauces and brushes to finish them they way you like (they only need about two additional minutes on the grille). They kept bringing out more kebobs (it's all you can eat)! After that, you can go up to a buffet with more food and desserts. We had a great time!
If you eat in your hotel or a higher end restaurant, we are told that you are safe to eat the fruit, vegetables, ice. My personal policy has been to only do this in our hotels. I do not want to risk getting sick before my retrieval. Bob has been just fine, though, so the theory has been tested and proved true!
To and from dinner last night we took a rickshaw. These are little three-wheeled contraptions that are incredibly light, maneuverable and fun! The major drawback is that they are open-aired so the smog, exhaust and dust can be overwhelming. Bob loves to argue the price with the drivers. They are metered, but the drivers will try to convince you that it actually cost more. Bob loves to dicker over prices!
We are coming to love India!
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Yesterday, (April 7th) we went to the Rotunda clinic in the morning. We met Dr. Gautum for the first time and everything went smoothly. (It almost didn’t though, I asked when were to get our HIV tests and Dr. Gautum was very surprised we hadn’t had our tests yet...with retrieval looking like Friday, and it takes 3 days to get the results, we were cutting it close). It is mandatory by Indian law to get an HIV test before the embryos can be transferred to the surrogate.
After that, we went to the Aditya Jyot Eye Hospital http://www.adityajyoteyehospital.org/ in Wadala and both Lisa and I had Lasik done on our eyes. We had been to the hospital twice before to have all the pre-lasik tests done. The cost was about $900.00 for each of us, compared with $4-$5K in the US. Aditya Jyot is definitely more of local eye hospital, not really near the hotels. We didn’t notice any foreigners the three times we were there, but I think the service was excellent. Doctor Priya was very professional and the staff very nice. The Lasik procedure itself was a little nerve-wracking. It’s pretty freaky having you eye held open by a clamp and being prodded by suction machines and lasers and saline being dripped on them constantly. It took about 10-15 minutes per eye and I was pretty relieved when it was over. It felt like there was a spec of sand in your eyes for a while, but we both woke up with very little discomfort and the ability to see the clock for the first time in about 20 years. We’re both so glad we had it done.
Today, we went back to the eye clinic for a quick check up and everything went great. My vision is pretty good now and Dr. Priya said we will see improvement over the next 7 – 10 days. After, we did a little shopping in section called Vile Parle. We found a great taxi driver named Ajit who also turned out to be a great tour guide. He’s lived here all his life and knows this crazy city like the back of his hand; and his English is excellent and easily understandable. He’s getting married at the end of the month. It’s an arranged marriage and he’s only met the girl once in the last year, but they talk on the phone every other day. He’s been telling us all about the upcoming wedding. Over 400 people are attending and it lasts 3 days. Ajit lives with his Mom and Dad, Sister, Brother, and their spouses and two nieces in a two room house. He said he lives in a slum area near the airport, but it is a nicer slum. Wow, that’s hard to fathom for most Americans, but it’s life in Mumbai. In fact, I read that 40% of the Mumbai police officers live in slums.
I know we’re getting a little more used to Mumbai. I find myself not having to pick up my jaw off the ground as much as the first few days. I know we’ve been writing about the culture shock a lot , but there are also a lot of good things here. The food has been fabulous, the people are extremely nice and some great bargains to be had.. In fact, Lisa and I scheduled 80 minute Swedish massages at a very nice local Spa here in Andheri tomorrow for about $30.00 each. Can’t beat the price!Saturday, April 5, 2008
Shopping~!
Today we went to the pool and cooked like chicken on the grille in the heat. It seems that every day here is a "dog day" of summer.
Then we went shopping! Shopping in India is sooo different than anywhere else. You walk into a store and the people circle around you. One guy will introduce himself and ask what you are looking for. If you are not sure, he will start showing you this and that. If you say you want something in pink, he will start showing you everything in pink. He will have two people running around to get things in pink, while all the time explaining to you how beautiful the pink is on the pink thing he is currently showing you. If you say you want something more of a mauve, and he doesn't have it, well then he'll just dye it mauve and deliver it to your hotel room in an hour. What's that? You don't like the fringe on the pink thing either? Well then, he'll dye it mauve, cut off the fringe and hem it, THEN he will deliver it to your hotel room--in an hour. It was amazing!
Bob looked at shirts. There must have been two hundred shirts paraded in front of him. I turned around and there were two guys refolding all the shirts they had paraded out in front of Bob. Bob ended up buying two shirts from all the shirts marched out in front of him. It was incredible!
At first, we felt funny. Kind of guilty that we weren't interested in what so many people were trying to sell us. After a while, it became more comfortable, and you realized that this is how it is in India. This is just regular old customer service.
I have heard that there are shops in Mumbai that will send trunks of goods to your hotel room so that you can shop without leaving your room! Can you imagine? I would feel just like Scarlett O'Hara on her honeymoon with Rhett!
We bought jewelry, clothing and had raw silk dyed. We bought cashmere and wood carvings! We bought sari's and children's punjab suits!
I love, love, love shopping in India!
PS The rule of thumb for shopping in India is that anyplace air conditioned you cannot bargain, non-air conditioned you should barter, starting at 25% the initial price asked and usually will end up half off.
Then we went shopping! Shopping in India is sooo different than anywhere else. You walk into a store and the people circle around you. One guy will introduce himself and ask what you are looking for. If you are not sure, he will start showing you this and that. If you say you want something in pink, he will start showing you everything in pink. He will have two people running around to get things in pink, while all the time explaining to you how beautiful the pink is on the pink thing he is currently showing you. If you say you want something more of a mauve, and he doesn't have it, well then he'll just dye it mauve and deliver it to your hotel room in an hour. What's that? You don't like the fringe on the pink thing either? Well then, he'll dye it mauve, cut off the fringe and hem it, THEN he will deliver it to your hotel room--in an hour. It was amazing!
Bob looked at shirts. There must have been two hundred shirts paraded in front of him. I turned around and there were two guys refolding all the shirts they had paraded out in front of Bob. Bob ended up buying two shirts from all the shirts marched out in front of him. It was incredible!
At first, we felt funny. Kind of guilty that we weren't interested in what so many people were trying to sell us. After a while, it became more comfortable, and you realized that this is how it is in India. This is just regular old customer service.
I have heard that there are shops in Mumbai that will send trunks of goods to your hotel room so that you can shop without leaving your room! Can you imagine? I would feel just like Scarlett O'Hara on her honeymoon with Rhett!
We bought jewelry, clothing and had raw silk dyed. We bought cashmere and wood carvings! We bought sari's and children's punjab suits!
I love, love, love shopping in India!
PS The rule of thumb for shopping in India is that anyplace air conditioned you cannot bargain, non-air conditioned you should barter, starting at 25% the initial price asked and usually will end up half off.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
